The Messiness of Living a Life United

I'm right smack dab in the middle of a journey that is stripping off all of the things God never intended me to be. All of the things that hold me back, all of the empty lies whispered into my ears telling me I'm not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, spiritual enough... all of these things are being stripped away. The fear of failure and fear of success... the fear that others won't like me as God molds me into this new kind of creation. Painfully and slowly, but with great care and compassion they are being ripped from my sides.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. -Romans 6:6

I've said before what God has put on my heart has been to help unite His people... and then help ignite them with the passion, love and grace that can only come from Him. It's weird though in this "UNITING" process I kind of pictured lots of kumbaya moments with brief breaks of hugs and praise (for each other and for God) and you know... like butterflies and rainbows and all of that gushy love stuff. What I've realized though, is God's call on my life to unite can only be footed on a solid foundation of growth if the things in me that are broken have been fully restored. Which is a process that is really anything but lovey fluff... it's more like, live and learn and have opportunities to extend grace through pain and tears.

How can I go out and preach NOT TO JUDGE, and still have a small corner of my mind reserved for those who are especially vulgar to me? How can I shout a message of FORGIVENESS AND ACCEPTANCE, if I myself have never had to endure the pain of being wronged and the humility in forgiving and loving anyway? The answer is I can't. I think far too many people do though. And as I wade through the murky waters of experiencing the pain and humility of being restored... I am free... and as I am freed the silence is breaking... little by little my pain will morph into victory in someone else's life. Which is true victory all for God's glory!

So stand strong for our freedom! The Anointed One freed us so we wouldn't spend one more day under the yoke of of slavery, trapped under the law. -Galatians 5:1

What I've realized in these 9 short months since the ripping and tearing away of my flesh began... or the crap that is so ingrained in me it feels like my flesh... is saying YES to God means doing ALL that we do in love and grace and mercy and HUMILITY. 

I think as Christians these words are watered down because they're used too much. We say "love ya" to a friend and turn around and rip her to shreds if we feel we've been wronged in any way. We expect grace and mercy, because we're human right??? but we are so much slower to give it when doing so comes at a personal cost to us. 

The bottom line though, is if we are truly seeking to MOVE MOUNTAINS and GROW the Kingdom of God here on earth... these FOUR words need to be tattooed on our minds. 

LOVE.GRACE.MERCY.HUMILTY.

We need to stop pretending like we want what God wants and really dive in to the messiness that comes with entering into other's lives, pain, victories and challenges. We need to stop pretending we're perfectly imperfect (aka sinners but not that kind of sinner) and just roll around in the idea of actually extending grace and compassion to those we think are despicable. Gasp. It's when we can do these things, the enemy will be defeated... it's when we do these things we will be free from the fears, insecurities and jealousies that have kept parts of us captive to darkness.. it's when we do these things God will truly be glorified...

Do you ever pretend to let things go to God... and then take them back? Do you struggle with being perfectly imperfect?? I've bared my guts... join me... it's fun.. well it's at least a little therapeutic:)

pssst... are you going?

My adulterous heart....

Last week I talked to a group of women about what it would look like to let Jesus define who we are... instead of listening to the lies and letting our pasts, our jobs, our possessions or even our sin define us. It sounds so simple... just say yes to God... but the moment I set my mind the that I feel like the enemy amps up his attacks on me and turns up the volume on the lies he was once just whispering in my ear

In John 8 there's a story of an adulterous woman...

"Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.


'Teacher,' they said to Jesus, 'this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?'


They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, 'All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!' Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.


When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, 'Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?'


'No, Lord,' she said.


And Jesus said, 'Neither do I. Go and sin no more.'"

I kind of identify with this adulterous woman. Don't get your panties in a bunch... I love my hubby... but if I'm honest I have to admit, I’m an adulterer in my relationship with God far too often.  I try to draw strength and comfort from so many things other than him. I turn to my husband or to my mom or friends or anything really, but the one person who can truly make things better. I turn to everything else before I remember that all I have to do is say YES... all I have to do is listen to his voice OVER the voice of the greatest of accusers. I have to rely on his love and grace, POWER and mercy... then he lifts me up dusts me off and says GO...

He told the woman to go and sin no more… but what I heard was Go… and let me define who you are…. 

Breaking Free... Fearlessly Crushing Strongholds

Photo By Maria Alexandra Photography

A couple of weeks ago I couldn't have told you what a "stronghold" even was. I knew I was being gripped by rebellion and pride but after recognizing their power in my life I had NO CLUE how to release them. I had a friend come over and pray for me and in the midst of a 30 second prayer for freedom from these things I felt myself release them and take them back... it was weird... like really weird. I felt a split second of lightness followed by the heaviness of oppression I have chosen to carry for a lifetime.

I knew what I did but I didn't know why. For days I beat myself up until I realized why:

I didn't know who I would be without the comfort of the sin that has bound me for over 30 years. 

The things that kept me from being free were also honestly a very comforting piece of who I was. MY foul mouth, my rebellious head bob and "tell it like it is" attitude were a shield I hid behind to protect my heart. My self hatred and anger and ability to put myself down with humor before others had the chance were how I survived... they were my protection, my excuse... for not moving forward in faith.

A couple of weeks ago I started reading about my "STRONGHOLDS"... REBELLION, PRIDE, A CRITICAL SPIRIT, SELF-PITY... oh list goes on believe me... and while I already knew these things were suffocating the work God was trying to do in and through me... I still didn't know how to move on from them.

It's been through reading God's word, and books on this subject that I realized there are actual steps to rid myself of these and bind myself to other strongholds that are actually from God....

In the Freedom Manual, Bryan Brennt said to remember the 4 R's: (on a side note this manual is amazing and I would fully recommend spending the $10 to download the PDF version no digital reader required.)

{REPENT}

{RECEIVE}

{REBUKE}

{REPLACE}

What I realized is that once I had identified the sin that was holding me back I had just been kind of sitting in it... bathing in it... soaking it in and beating the CRAP out of myself. THAT'S NOT WHAT GOD WANTS... the purpose of recognizing sin is to then be FREE from it, not wallow in it. And if we don't know how to move on the ENEMY can use it to push us down even more. (Matthew 12:45... read it!)

It's through REPENTING (sincerely expressing our sin to God) and then REBUKING the enemy (Actually saying out loud: In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke the spirit of ___________ in my life, remove the enemy and bind him from this area!) that we begin to heal. But here's the kicker... when the sin is emptied, you have to RECEIVE God's mercy and grace and the RELACING that space with His TRUTH.

This sounds simple but I wonder if there is anyone else out there who has sat in a place of self pity and self disgust... allowing the enemy to oppress and do almost more damage than the original sin??? I am done sitting... I have shaken off those strongholds and I have accepted God's Grace and refilled my mind with HIS truth! 

NOW I am praying that my strongholds would be GRACE, FATIH,  MERCY,  LOVE and COMPASSION.

All over in the new testament HE tells us if we ask HE WILL GIVE FREELY... we just have to believe and HE will make us overcomers... He will make us strong, HE will help us fight... I'm ready to ask AND BELIEVE... are you?

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." 

-Matthew 7:7-11

No More Friendly Fire

I Love our Lord's example in the above scripture. As the Pharisees and Scribes constantly sought to provoke Jesus... he always seemed to answer with such serenity and tranquility. Jesus never was and never is uptight. And yet the minute someone provokes me (not on purpose I'm sure), my reaction is most definitely not tranquil. How destructive this is to the Body of Christ!! This is a call for unity within our church community. Lets take a stand together and not allow anymore division from within.

Lets stop the "friendly fire"

{As the bible indicates throughout, unity doesn't happen through the pointing of fingers at one another's spiritual condition. Unity starts with me.}

Here are a few ways to confront this issue in which we seem to struggle... not excluding myself of course. This may offend some, but none of us are guiltless! As my friend Lindsay so poignantly said, "Welcome to the no fluff zone." So here it goes...


1. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Luke 6:45
Before a critical statement can come out of our mouth it is already formed in our heart. Isolate the thought, and immediately take it to the Lord. Get rid of it fast! If you are anything like me, you may have to do this multiple times before it goes away.


2. The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21
Are you speaking life giving words to or about or family (includes in-laws, cousins, uncles, you get the picture)? Chances are if your talking about your immediate family, you will fall into the trap of talking about your church family as well. I like to justify myself by saying, "I need prayer about this" or "sorry for venting". WHOOPS!


3. ...and there are diversities of operation, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. 1Corinthians 12:6
DO NOT compare yourselves (gifts, talents, etc..) to others! This one is especially difficult amongst the women. You will end up becoming jealous toward that person Jesus loves so much, or you will walk in fear that you aren't good enough.[Side note: If I had to compared myself to the incredibly talented women that write on this blog, I would NOT be writing this post today. I would be too fearful....]

4. ...And He gave us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1John 4:21
Love the person who is rude to you.... for love covers a multitude of sin. Guess what?? We are not called to love the lovely, but the unlovely.

  Last, but not least......

5. Where sin abounds, Grace abounds that much more. Romans 5:20
So thankful for the Grace administered to me on a moment to moment basis...YAY and AMEN!!