Unraveling The O Word: OFFENSE

My word or words from God recently have been "RELATIONSHIP" He's shown me how to turn from offenses but also how I have offended others. It is blatant to me now how huge a bait of satan offenses are. OFFENSES DESTROY RElATIONSHIP. God wants our top relationship to be with Him but how can we develop that when other important relationships are crumbling. Anyhoo look at Monday's Utmost For His Highest:

Utmost For His Highest- Sept. 24th

...it was ALL good but I loved/hated this last paragraph:
"Never disregard a conviction that the Holy Spirit brings to you. If it is important enough for the Spirit of God to bring it to your mind, it is the very thing He is detecting in you. You were looking for some big thing to give up while God is telling you of some tiny thing that must go. But behind that tiny thing lies the stronghold of OBSTINANCY, (He keeps bringing me back to this) and you say, "I will not give up my right to mySELF"- the very thing that God intends you to give up if you are to be a disciple of Jesus Christ."

People are struggling daily with the people in their lives whether it's friends or family. Someone is always pissing someone off with words or actions or non actions. BUT it is ALL about relationship, relationship is what is destroyed with every offense. The very thing God calls us to is unravelling. I see satan everywhere now. But we as prideful SELF filled and SELF worshipping HUMANS are not willing to give up the one thing it takes to rectify the endless circle of destruction...ourSELVES.

I’m a 57 year old wife, mother, grandmother and farmer. These tags are important to me, yes they define me, but they don’t incapsulate who I am. I love God, my family and dear friends. I love to garden, cook and talk to my chickens, and in the midst of all of that…I SEE SQUIRRELS! So I’ll use this page to sort that out…. or not. I am the queen of fragmented/run away sentences and my use of …… is it’s own punctuation. I like to write as if no one is reading… which shouldn’t be a problem.

The Scariest Prayer I've Ever Prayed

In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for

“God opposes the proud

but favors the humble.”

-1 Peter 5:5

It's always made me squidgy when people, actors, singers... whoever say, "I'm humbled by..." I guess I never really understood what it meant and half the time it feels wrote and completely not genuine anyway.

When we received our new home... built by the sacrifices of our community... built by contractors and carpenters and volunteers who were out of work and even homeless, for the first time I knew the depths of what that phrase means. It's this feeling in your guts that makes you want to cry and throw up and praise God all at once. It's a stripping of any fronts before God and his people. It's feeling naked and exposed and unworthy but so very grateful. And it's in this humbled state that God can mold us and grow us and true, deep, REAL relationships and communities can be cemented together. 

Years ago my husband C.J. was a youth pastor at a local church. On our last outreach with our high school group we did a mission to Medford and served different people in our community. At night we took the kids to a campground about an hour north of us to sing and pray and reflect on how God moved throughout the day. On the last night of this last adventure with our kids C.J. challenged us all to pray the scariest prayer we could pray.

"LORD, HUMBLE ME."

He said if we did it would be one of the most spiritually powerful things we would ever experience... and to watch out... because God would answer this. I didn't pray the prayer that night... I was too afraid. For like a decade I have continued to be afraid of those three words. It hasn't been until I've truly experienced and seen the heart of God over the past year that I realize this prayer won't bring embarrassment or humiliation... I have pictured myself on my knees praying this and instantly getting a blistering rash over my face or tripping and falling down in front of lots of people or walking around all day with my zipper undone. Seriously!! I thought those things are what this prayer would bring... but after experiencing the build, after experiencing the affects of the tearing away of years of crap that's held me back... by God's sweet gentle grace, I realized praying this prayer will result in beauty, rawness, and growth that can only come from really really trusting that God wants to give me an abundant life of love and freedom.

As I was talking to my friend the other day on the phone and we were discussing our secret motives, our need to be liked and praised by people and we just prayed... right there over the phone, on her break at work... LORD, HUMBLE US. When I was done praying she said HOLY CRAP Lindsay, you just asked God to humble us... bring it!!

Good news, no skin eating plague has struck my house, no huge embarrassments in front of large crowds has occurred (well, no more than usual at least.) What has happened... true, unadulterated vulnerability before God... deeper friendships, more awareness of what is keeping me from knowing Him and a growing trust, from a girl that trusts no one, in my God, my husband, my family and friends. This prayer is only scary if you're afraid to let go of the false fronts you put up... it's only scary if you're not ready to have walls be broken down and your eyes opened to who HE created you to be. It's been a mighty and powerful prayer that I will continue to pray on this journey... the only thing I regret is not praying it sooner!

LORD, HUMBLE US. Pray it with me girls! Jesus, strip us of ourselves. Peal back the layers of doubt, anger, control, self-hate, insecurity, pride, cynicism, rebellion and jealousy. Reveal us for who we are IN YOU. Help us yearn for the rawness and realness that comes with this prayer... move us forward, open our eyes to see who you created us to be... use this prayer to break down walls and bust out vaults that are keeping us from knowing and loving you... and each other.... praise you Jesus for a new day and a fresh start... give us eyes to see your reality. -Amen

The Messiness of Living a Life United

I'm right smack dab in the middle of a journey that is stripping off all of the things God never intended me to be. All of the things that hold me back, all of the empty lies whispered into my ears telling me I'm not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, spiritual enough... all of these things are being stripped away. The fear of failure and fear of success... the fear that others won't like me as God molds me into this new kind of creation. Painfully and slowly, but with great care and compassion they are being ripped from my sides.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. -Romans 6:6

I've said before what God has put on my heart has been to help unite His people... and then help ignite them with the passion, love and grace that can only come from Him. It's weird though in this "UNITING" process I kind of pictured lots of kumbaya moments with brief breaks of hugs and praise (for each other and for God) and you know... like butterflies and rainbows and all of that gushy love stuff. What I've realized though, is God's call on my life to unite can only be footed on a solid foundation of growth if the things in me that are broken have been fully restored. Which is a process that is really anything but lovey fluff... it's more like, live and learn and have opportunities to extend grace through pain and tears.

How can I go out and preach NOT TO JUDGE, and still have a small corner of my mind reserved for those who are especially vulgar to me? How can I shout a message of FORGIVENESS AND ACCEPTANCE, if I myself have never had to endure the pain of being wronged and the humility in forgiving and loving anyway? The answer is I can't. I think far too many people do though. And as I wade through the murky waters of experiencing the pain and humility of being restored... I am free... and as I am freed the silence is breaking... little by little my pain will morph into victory in someone else's life. Which is true victory all for God's glory!

So stand strong for our freedom! The Anointed One freed us so we wouldn't spend one more day under the yoke of of slavery, trapped under the law. -Galatians 5:1

What I've realized in these 9 short months since the ripping and tearing away of my flesh began... or the crap that is so ingrained in me it feels like my flesh... is saying YES to God means doing ALL that we do in love and grace and mercy and HUMILITY. 

I think as Christians these words are watered down because they're used too much. We say "love ya" to a friend and turn around and rip her to shreds if we feel we've been wronged in any way. We expect grace and mercy, because we're human right??? but we are so much slower to give it when doing so comes at a personal cost to us. 

The bottom line though, is if we are truly seeking to MOVE MOUNTAINS and GROW the Kingdom of God here on earth... these FOUR words need to be tattooed on our minds. 

LOVE.GRACE.MERCY.HUMILTY.

We need to stop pretending like we want what God wants and really dive in to the messiness that comes with entering into other's lives, pain, victories and challenges. We need to stop pretending we're perfectly imperfect (aka sinners but not that kind of sinner) and just roll around in the idea of actually extending grace and compassion to those we think are despicable. Gasp. It's when we can do these things, the enemy will be defeated... it's when we do these things we will be free from the fears, insecurities and jealousies that have kept parts of us captive to darkness.. it's when we do these things God will truly be glorified...

Do you ever pretend to let things go to God... and then take them back? Do you struggle with being perfectly imperfect?? I've bared my guts... join me... it's fun.. well it's at least a little therapeutic:)

pssst... are you going?