In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for
“God opposes the proud
but favors the humble.”
-1 Peter 5:5
When we received our new home... built by the sacrifices of our community... built by contractors and carpenters and volunteers who were out of work and even homeless, for the first time I knew the depths of what that phrase means. It's this feeling in your guts that makes you want to cry and throw up and praise God all at once. It's a stripping of any fronts before God and his people. It's feeling naked and exposed and unworthy but so very grateful. And it's in this humbled state that God can mold us and grow us and true, deep, REAL relationships and communities can be cemented together.
Years ago my husband C.J. was a youth pastor at a local church. On our last outreach with our high school group we did a mission to Medford and served different people in our community. At night we took the kids to a campground about an hour north of us to sing and pray and reflect on how God moved throughout the day. On the last night of this last adventure with our kids C.J. challenged us all to pray the scariest prayer we could pray.
"LORD, HUMBLE ME."
He said if we did it would be one of the most spiritually powerful things we would ever experience... and to watch out... because God would answer this. I didn't pray the prayer that night... I was too afraid. For like a decade I have continued to be afraid of those three words. It hasn't been until I've truly experienced and seen the heart of God over the past year that I realize this prayer won't bring embarrassment or humiliation... I have pictured myself on my knees praying this and instantly getting a blistering rash over my face or tripping and falling down in front of lots of people or walking around all day with my zipper undone. Seriously!! I thought those things are what this prayer would bring... but after experiencing the build, after experiencing the affects of the tearing away of years of crap that's held me back... by God's sweet gentle grace, I realized praying this prayer will result in beauty, rawness, and growth that can only come from really really trusting that God wants to give me an abundant life of love and freedom.
As I was talking to my friend the other day on the phone and we were discussing our secret motives, our need to be liked and praised by people and we just prayed... right there over the phone, on her break at work... LORD, HUMBLE US. When I was done praying she said HOLY CRAP Lindsay, you just asked God to humble us... bring it!!
As I was talking to my friend the other day on the phone and we were discussing our secret motives, our need to be liked and praised by people and we just prayed... right there over the phone, on her break at work... LORD, HUMBLE US. When I was done praying she said HOLY CRAP Lindsay, you just asked God to humble us... bring it!!
Good news, no skin eating plague has struck my house, no huge embarrassments in front of large crowds has occurred (well, no more than usual at least.) What has happened... true, unadulterated vulnerability before God... deeper friendships, more awareness of what is keeping me from knowing Him and a growing trust, from a girl that trusts no one, in my God, my husband, my family and friends. This prayer is only scary if you're afraid to let go of the false fronts you put up... it's only scary if you're not ready to have walls be broken down and your eyes opened to who HE created you to be. It's been a mighty and powerful prayer that I will continue to pray on this journey... the only thing I regret is not praying it sooner!
LORD, HUMBLE US. Pray it with me girls! Jesus, strip us of ourselves. Peal back the layers of doubt, anger, control, self-hate, insecurity, pride, cynicism, rebellion and jealousy. Reveal us for who we are IN YOU. Help us yearn for the rawness and realness that comes with this prayer... move us forward, open our eyes to see who you created us to be... use this prayer to break down walls and bust out vaults that are keeping us from knowing and loving you... and each other.... praise you Jesus for a new day and a fresh start... give us eyes to see your reality. -Amen
Yes! Exactly. Oh man, buddy. Strength in humility. Bring it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteMy constant prayer is, "God, I know you have a plan. Please let your will be done." In fact, I prayed that tonight after learning that I was turned down for a much-needed grant in a time of true financial need as I continue to try to get my nonprofit funded. I know that my plans are never as amazing as what God has in store. Having the patience to wait for those gifts and blessings to be revealed is the hardest part, especially when things don't happen in a way you expect, or you can't recognize them as blessings in the making. Hardships can create beauty. You and I both know the kind of beauty that can come from being the mom to children with autism. Seeing the beauty in the really difficult moments is very hard. I continue to try, and I'm waiting on God for the "big reveal." :-)