Monday, June 18, 2012

The Messiness of Living a Life United


I'm right smack dab in the middle of a journey that is stripping off all of the things God never intended me to be. All of the things that hold me back, all of the empty lies whispered into my ears telling me I'm not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, spiritual enough... all of these things are being stripped away. The fear of failure and fear of success... the fear that others won't like me as God molds me into this new kind of creation. Painfully and slowly, but with great care and compassion they are being ripped from my sides.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. -Romans 6:6

I've said before what God has put on my heart has been to help unite His people... and then help ignite them with the passion, love and grace that can only come from Him. It's weird though in this "UNITING" process I kind of pictured lots of kumbaya moments with brief breaks of hugs and praise (for each other and for God) and you know... like butterflies and rainbows and all of that gushy love stuff. What I've realized though, is God's call on my life to unite can only be footed on a solid foundation of growth if the things in me that are broken have been fully restored. Which is a process that is really anything but lovey fluff... it's more like, live and learn and have opportunities to extend grace through pain and tears.

How can I go out and preach NOT TO JUDGE, and still have a small corner of my mind reserved for those who are especially vulgar to me? How can I shout a message of FORGIVENESS AND ACCEPTANCE, if I myself have never had to endure the pain of being wronged and the humility in forgiving and loving anyway? The answer is I can't. I think far too many people do though. And as I wade through the murky waters of experiencing the pain and humility of being restored... I am free... and as I am freed the silence is breaking... little by little my pain will morph into victory in someone else's life. Which is true victory all for God's glory!

So stand strong for our freedom! The Anointed One freed us so we wouldn't spend one more day under the yoke of of slavery, trapped under the law. -Galatians 5:1

What I've realized in these 9 short months since the ripping and tearing away of my flesh began... or the crap that is so ingrained in me it feels like my flesh... is saying YES to God means doing ALL that we do in love and grace and mercy and HUMILITY. 

I think as Christians these words are watered down because they're used too much. We say "love ya" to a friend and turn around and rip her to shreds if we feel we've been wronged in any way. We expect grace and mercy, because we're human right??? but we are so much slower to give it when doing so comes at a personal cost to us. 

The bottom line though, is if we are truly seeking to MOVE MOUNTAINS and GROW the Kingdom of God here on earth... these FOUR words need to be tattooed on our minds. 

LOVE.GRACE.MERCY.HUMILTY.

We need to stop pretending like we want what God wants and really dive in to the messiness that comes with entering into other's lives, pain, victories and challenges. We need to stop pretending we're perfectly imperfect (aka sinners but not that kind of sinner) and just roll around in the idea of actually extending grace and compassion to those we think are despicable. Gasp. It's when we can do these things, the enemy will be defeated... it's when we do these things we will be free from the fears, insecurities and jealousies that have kept parts of us captive to darkness.. it's when we do these things God will truly be glorified...

Do you ever pretend to let things go to God... and then take them back? Do you struggle with being perfectly imperfect?? I've bared my guts... join me... it's fun.. well it's at least a little therapeutic:)
pssst... are you going?


2 comments:

  1. After reading this blog post this quote came to mind as it wrecked me the other day. Thank you Tozer

    “Self is the opaque veil that hides the face of God from us. It can be removed only in spiritual experience, never by mere instruction, as well try to instruct leprosy out of your system. There must be a work of God in destruction before we are free. We must invite the cross to its deadly work within us. We must bring our self-sin (self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love) to the cross for judgement we must prepare ourselves for an ordeal of suffering in some measure like that through which our Savior passed when he suffered under Pontius Pilate.

    Let us remember when we talk of the rending of the veil we are speaking in a figure; and the thought of it is poetical, almost pleasant; but in actuality there is nothing pleasant about it. In human experience that veil is made of living spiritual tissue; it is composed of the sentient, quivering stuff of which our whole beings consist, and to touch us where we feel pain. To tear it away is to injure us, to hurt us, and make us bleed, to say otherwise is to make the cross no cross and death no death at all. It is never fun to die. To rip through the dear tender stuff of which life is made can never be anything but deeply painful. Yet that is what the cross did to Jesus and it is what the cross would do to every man to set him free.”
    A.W. Tozer

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