Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Treasures In Darkness

Isaiah 45:3 -
I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, The god of Israel, who summons you by name.

While standing in line at the bank one day I overheard the teller explain some of the dark times he was going through. As I approached the counter he continued to express some of the details to me, as the hurt was still fresh and this was the way he was dealing with it. I told him that I felt bad for what he had been going through. With a smirk on his face he replied "You... You haven't suffered a day in your life." These words had been delivered to me on more than one occasion. 

1 Samuel 16:7
For The Lord sees not as man sees: Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks upon the heart.

Here's my question... based on appearances do you make assumptions about people you do not know?

I'm not a theologian nor a bible scholar. But I do consider myself to have an advanced degree from the University of Diversity. I will try my best to spare all the gruesome details. So here it goes. Neglected, rejected, despised, and abused. By the time I was fourteen years old I was homeless, and had become a couch hopper. Unwilling to become a burden to anyone I would usually run. I visited the shelters available to teens, but felt I was better off alone and on my own. In and out of court rooms, fearfully facing my abusers in order to protect those I loved even though they rejected me. There was never any rest; which resulted in countless failed attempts at suicide. I was pregnant at nineteen and where I always started out with good intentions quickly turned in to a scandal. I felt so much shame because I merely lived a life of survival. All I ever wanted to do was experience peace!!! 

I'm not interested in writing you a novel so I will just stop here, because the trials and tribulations are endless. People were rarely aware of my circumstances, because of my appearance. I always (as people would share) looked put together. 

I met my husband shortly after my 23rd birthday. And accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. The moment I settled in to the lifestyle of what I thought was going to be peaceful, all kinds of ICKY began to manifest. 

Jesus began to heal me. The healing process itself, to say the least, was UUUGLY! Stuff just began bubbling  out all over the place!! Scared to allow my husband and family (I had two boys at this point) to see what needed to come out, I began to destroy my marriage.

Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

I definitely wanted to isolate myself so that I didn't have to face the pain or the horror that I'd endured in my short lifetime. Nope. The Lord allowed everyone in my life to see it as though I was on display. After three years of this my marriage couldn't take any more. Here I was again, failing at my attempt to pull off a "Normal Life". 

But then... I picked up my bible and began to pray. The next several years were not the easiest, but I started doing things God's way. All of my brokenness was healed and my marriage restored. In retrospect I began to see the hidden treasures that God had for me in these times of darkness. 

Although life doesn't stop bringing it's trials I can honestly say that the battle belongs to The Lord. I am sincerely living the abundant life that Jesus spoke of. Not because things are perfect, but because to know Him and to be loved by Him is to know that there is a treasure within everything that life may hold for us. 

Rejoice in knowing that you have a purpose!!!!!! And for the love of Jesus (...because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:19). Walk fearlessly in it.


4 comments:

  1. Heather, your testimony is a treasure, thank you for sharing your journey with God, the One who brings beauty from ashes. <3

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  2. Heather, thank you for sharing your story! Thank you for encouraging us all to walk fearlessly....I loved this so much!!

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  3. He is SO faithful! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness!!!
    Thank you my sweet friend for sharing this. As tears stream down my face, I imagine all of the pain you've endured in your life and see you so much more clearly; not for what this world has tried to make you out to be, but as the beautiful child of God that you are. Your light shines ever SO brightly!
    I'm sure you know this scripture all too well, but felt inclined to share it because your testimony will surely bring other women to understand their beauty in Christ; "to bestow on them a crown of beauty, instead of ashes; the oil of joy, instead of mourning; and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:3

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  4. What a great reminder. And I LOVE this verse. I found it years ago, and have treasured it ever since. :)

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