Moving Past Awkward... For Him...

photo by Maria Alexandra Photography

A little over a week ago ... Lu told me she was speaking about Numbers 14... She was blown away because she was speaking to a group of women about body image and this is the passage God gave her... Being me of course I had NO clue what Numbers 14 was even remotely about... As I read about the Israelite's rebellion all I could think was THIS IS ME!!!

What really hit me was that the Israelites (even after seeing God's miracles) chose to not have enough faith to believe God would give them what He had promised them. THIS WAS ME!!!

How can we cry out to God and beg him to show us his will for our lives and who he wants us to be and then balk at walking forward and being bold and fearless when he lays it out in front of us?!?!?!?!

For months I was pissed! laying face down sobbing, knowing he wanted more from me but not knowing what it was... then as He started to show me what it is he has called me to, I stopped... I stalled... I procrastinated thinking everything had to be perfect to move forward. How could I step out alone? What if it was awkward? What if people started whispering that Lindsay has gone off the deep end and is now a spiritual nut case??? I waited weeks... until last sunday He said just do it... now... your excuses will always be there... just start the blog.. start the journey... and I will do the rest.

John 14:12-14:

“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"

After a week of just doing it, listening and obeying and trusting He will do what he says I am changed. Trusting HE will give me what I ask for (no... not a new car or a smaller butt)  I begged to hear His voice... I begged for words.. and then believed he would give them to me... and he did... he did... no seriously HE DID!!! Why am I so amazed? Why can't I read the verses in John 14 and believe they are for me... ordinary, stay at home mom, butt wiping, nothing of a person... ME!!! Today I do know this verse is for me. And here's the beautiful part, it's for you too! It's for your neighbor and your mother and your husband and your 3 year old son... He wants us to move past that awkward fear and really believe He can do what he says...

HE WANTS TO USE US FOR GREATNESS... ANNND He not only WANTS to...

He EXPECTS to!