Round 2: How I Am vs. Who I Am....Let's Get Ready to rummmbbbllllee!

Photography by Holly Stout

I'm picking up round two {CHECK OUT ROUND ONE} and running with it today. I love that Lindsay left me with the nitty gritty....OH THE PRESSURE.

This weekend I unbound the pages of my journals. It's time to write my story about my journey these last two and a half years. Some of the pages I came across made me cringe....it brought back so many memories of the woman I was...how I was. YUCK...sure there were good qualities about me but oh dear Jesus I was a mess.

Let me just put How I Was in nutshell for you:
-Insecure
-Inconsistent
-Angry
-Impatient
-Unapproachable
-Unavailable
-Prideful
-FULL OF SELF-PITY
-Perfectionist
-Unkind
-Ungracious
-Bitter
-Resentful...ok I'm just going to stop now....you pretty much get the point.

As many of you know Lindsay will just tell you how it is...well so do I. So as you can see this could make for a very dangerous combination...but it doesn't. It's actually like the Lord has laced my lips with some sort of grace that what comes out of my mouth she hears. It's pretty weird actually, wouldn't you say Lindsay??? Even if it's straight up truth...I sort of sit preparing to hear a dial tone...but I don't.

And as time passed I began to change...a lot of time...I don't catch on real fast...I'm slightly stubborn. But basically what I'm saying is that the truth she spoke started to open my eyes to HOW I WAS.

I saw how I was and I seriously hated it but I was just stumbling in the same way, saying the same things and then apologizing AGAIN (for like the 50th time). I so desperately wanted to be different but it was a process. Slowly but surely I began to change. I began to win the battle of my strongholds. There were days when I didn't actually know how I was functioning in my own skin. I was laughing more, I was way more friendly, strangers would chat with me at Starbucks, men would open doors for me and actually look me in the eye...

THIS ALL MAY SEEM VERY SILLY TO YOU BUT IT WAS MY LIFE....

So back to Linz and my conversation, I was given liberty to speak into her life because I knew exactly where she was. You could hear the chains she was bound by....so basically I was like ok here we go. And what came out was, the bondage that she had been walking in...we don't need to name em...hahaha. But the opening of the eyes to our strongholds gives the enemy less foothold. When we know the stronghold of sin we are walking in we recognize it more clearly, joyfully repent and then begin to walk in the opposite spirit. The opposite spirit is our original design. The places that the enemy torments us the most, the things we think we will never be free of, the sin that haunts us...these are the places we are destined for the most greatness. You claim to be shy? I call bluff...God didn't make anyone shy, it's the enemies silly little idea to keep you shut up for the rest of your life because what's actually behind those lips of yours could actually shift a culture. You're rebellious and it's just who you are....NO WAY, NO HOW!!! You are righteous at your very core. You will stand up for the things that others will not stand up for. You are riddled with righteousness and truth...but what if you started walking in it, raising your children in it. You are a straight forward and a rough around the edges...I think not. You are a dang teddy bear that's got more love and compassion shut away in your bones that you would ever care to admit. What would happen to your life and your relationships if those tough walls came down and compassion and love were what flowed forth???? Crazy right???

My chains kept me from walking in relationship, from truly loving those around me. It kept my walls nice and high so no one would get in, so no one could hurt me....BAD IDEA!!!! I am sitting here now a woman radically changed, who can love, who can be loved, who has the heart of a momma and who desires freedom for all the captives. What if I would have never shed my own chains...SCARY!!! Dear Lord...thank you for saving me.

We all have a story. We all have a testimony. The things that we battle through in our lives are tests so that we have a testimony. 

Testimony: is a compilation of words that tells others about your faith. It can explain why you are a Christian, experiences you have had, how you overcame sin, and more. Testimonies are often presented to other people to help them through situations or to demonstrate a point. It is used to reinforce the truth of the matter.

I got to speak into the life of my friend because I just sat there thinking..."Oh man I know exactly where she's at, God give me boldness to speak truth that is so injected with love and not condemnation, mercy without judgement.

So now...please do not go and try and fix your friends...We are to walk in relationship, edifying one another, speaking truth and life. Our words are to be encouraging, exhorting, and edifying. Please don't find the faults and start pointing them out. Walk with your friend, love them without fixing them. Because love covers a multitude of sins. There is joy in repentance. If you see the stronghold, repent, receive forgiveness, rebuke the lies, and replace it with truth. Let's just be done with all the stuff you know? If it's there choose to leave it behind and day by day freedom will look better and better!!!

My hearts desire to everyday break off HOW I WAS and walk more and more into WHO I AM!!! Someone said to me once, "I know this man called Jesus and most people don't know Him like I do." This statement radically altered my life and began this journey of freedom. I'm not talking about religion, I'm talking about a relationship with the creator of heaven and earth. He is so good...we don't need 20 years of counseling to get through all of our junk...the cross was enough. Freedom is right in front of our noses, we just have to reach out and grab it.

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
Burpees
KettkeBell Swings

[editor's note: as always... I am already sore]