Fight Night at Havana Republic was riveting last night. Our new location is fabulous!! Everyone at Havana was so helpful and friendly and their efficiency and kindness and professionalism just enhanced our experience.
God was with us and Lindsay had a powerful message to share. Two words kept repeating- REPENT and FREEDOM. Linz pointed out that 'repent' is an action word and freedom , or at least freedom from sin, will be the result of repentance. Recognizing repentance as an action word is huge in itself. I for one get too wrapped up in 'feelings'. It is important to understand that the kind of repentance - the verb - repentance, is NOT a feeling. It is so easy to feel remorse for a choice. I personally can wallow in that sorrow. You know how a pig likes to wallow and allow the mud to swallow them up? Yeah like that. As miserable as it makes me feel to realize my sin, I feel like it is my penitence to hold on to it...i.e: wallow with it. Like God will be pleased with my suffering. Does anybody besides me see something wrong with this picture??? If we allow ourselves to identify with what Christ did for us on the cross we could be relieved to know that Christ has already done our suffering- the ultimate gift. It requires faith on our part to accept this gift. Faith, unlike repentance, requires us to not do things, but to believe things. BUT to repent, to turn from sin, MUST BE TIED TO ACTION. Following Jesus means more than saying (or feeling) the right words- It means acting on what He says. (Luke 3:7-9) God has revealed to me that my incessant need to hold on and wallow is a complete waste of time and energy. It brings Him no glory and it allows me the wasted opportunity to continually revisit my sorrow and not grow in my relationship with Him.......
In my quest to INCITE THE FIGHT the question is taken from lessons from Solomon's life: Knowing what actions are required of us means little without the will to DO those actions...are you ready?
{ABOUT INCTIE THE FIGHT} Blog posts with incite the fight headers will be directly related to that month's Fight Night. Each Fight Night has a topic so {Incite The Fight} posts will be follow ups that will take the concepts deeper... Cindy and Fiona will be taking the lead on continuing the conversation... we hope you'll join in!
In our little nook of the woods, Autumn is finally starting to spread its glorious reach of orange, yellow and red. We've been chugging back the Pumpkin Spice Lattes for a few weeks there in temperatures well in the eighties and nineties.....but finally......we're starting to feel the chill of crisp, fresh air in the mornings, and the colours around us are changing.
I was looking out my window at some of the trees around my house and admiring the changing leaves, when something very obvious struck me. The trees don't usually have all their leaves change all at the same time. First there are patches of change, before the whole tree is overcome by the Autumnal changes and eventually the leaves fall off.
The science teacher in me had a fair idea why this is, but I did a quick google check, just to make sure. The answer simply is: light. The leaves exposed to the most light change colour first. They change first, and then die first. The same is true of us when we spend time in the Lord's presence - in His light - we are irrevocably changed. There's no denying a person's testimony when they open that door of their heart and the Lord steps in. We are changed from the inside out. And bit by bit, piece by piece, we die to self.
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. - I John 1:7
Walking in the light. Sounds a bit airy fairy. Sounds like a lot of 'christianese'. But when it boils down to it - it is what we're all called to do. 'Walking' suggests a journey. A continuation. A process. We don't just wake up one day, make a decision to follow Christ and that's it. No, walking with Jesus is a lifelong process. Sometimes it is an uphill journey, sometimes we're on the downhill slide. We're never alone though.
'In the light'. Have you ever been around someone whose eyes just seem to gleam with Jesus-ness? (yep, that's a new word, people). With Jesus' love. You know you just look at them and know that their love is more than their self - it has to come from the Lord. That kinda outflow and outpouring of love can only come from spending more time in His presence.
That's what I want - Jesus' eyes. To be able to look at someone with complete compassion and understanding. To know that my human limitations are.......limited....but when I run out of the right words to say, the right actions to follow through with, then I can do these things in His power.
You see the more we expose our own self to the light, the more we let Him inhabit every nook and cranny of our lives, the more we are changed, the more we become more like Him. We become fearless as we understand what we're capable of, because Christ is in and through us. We're just the vessels. We're just the empty shells. We become bold in knowing who we are and what we're called to do, for the people around us.
This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. - 1 John 5:5
Now here's the neat part. This is the part that gives me so much encouragement. This walking in the light business is open to all of us. We all have the chance to grow more patient, more full of self-control, be full of more goodness, be more loving - as these things are guaranteed to happen, the more time we spend in His presence. These gifts aren't just available for a select few. They aren't just for the holier than thou among us. No, this is for us all.
God offers each of us this gift of closeness to him, of nearness. We need only accept and enter into His presence. And we can. We can move closer to Him, by reading His word. The gospel transforms us. Plain and simple. The gospel transforms us. Worship transforms us. As we lay our own agendas aside, and we remember His goodness and as we simply praise Him for all he has done, we are transformed. As we come together with like-minded people, as we sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron and challenge and encourage and be real with each other, we are transformed. As we take responsibility for our own spiritual growth and not rely on the next message, or the next blog post, or our spouses to fill in the gaps, then we are transformed. As we focus on the needs of others and how we can serve them, then we are transformed.
Each of us has the chance to be close to God, to walk in His light. Right now, wherever you are, from the ends of the earth, to the little valley that I live in right now. God is here, and God is near. Wherever you are: coffee in hand, brain a blur with all the demands upon your time, with children shrieking in your right ear, and the buzz of the world in your left ear, you can draw near to him and he will draw near to you.
If you're having trouble with wondering how you can walk in the light more, then play this song, over and over again, until you feel something inside of you shift. Until something in your heart melts. And there you have it. Into the light. Your leaves will start changing. My leaves will start changing. You and I will slowly start dying to self, and become bolder and more fearless.
Meet The Author
I am a legal alien in this amazing country (USA). I desire to be the best wife, mother and friend I can be. I love life and I want above all else, to be used by God. I write to encourage you – to be honest with you – to prove that we are not to ‘do this life’ alone. We have much to learn from each other.
You can read more about Fiona and her journey into the light on her blog: A Little Bit Of Honesty.
I have written before about the twitch I get in my stomach over the "S" word... no not that one, the other one... HMMHMM submission. That was me whispering the word. Why is it so hard to say? Why is it so gut wrenchingly hard to do? I feel like it goes against my core, my human nature, my existence. WHY? Because it does.
A pastor friend of mine told me not too long ago that our reaction to anything in life speaks more about the state of our own hearts than what we're actually reacting to.
In my humanness, when someone tells me to SUBMIT, I put one finger up (my pointer finger people, sheesh) with my other hand on my hip and do the ever rebellious head bob. "Oh heck no," is the cry of my heart. Can you see how this complicates my life, my marriage, my friendships??
As I sift out my need for control, I'm finding it's got it's ugly claws lodged in so many areas in my life. I am so thankful for God gently showing me these areas... even in His gentleness though, even knowing he only wants me to be free to experience Him, I'm on this cyclical roller coaster of letting it go and then white knuckling it out of fear.
If I let go of control, will I lose me? If I submit fully to God and ahemmm my husband, will my voice be lost? Will I be less of a person? Will the me I think is really me cease to exist? This is the craziness that consumes my thoughts lately.
You go through something weird when you get married and have kids. A few years into the journey it feels like parts of you are missing, like your only identity is as his wife or their mom. It's like the fun, bubbly old me was traded in for an exhausted butt wiping puke cleaning shell of a woman. As I am emerging from that stage, having fewer butts to wipe and less puke to clean, I find myself fighting to be the old me again. The problem is... I think sometimes I get confused and unknowingly start picking the wrong fight. Instead of fighting to be me... I should be fighting to find my identity in Him. Fighting to bear the crowning glory of his sacrifice, humility and submission.
In his book Why Not Women, Loren Cunningham says, "Submission to God is the ultimate strength." He goes on to say, "True freedom comes when we submit to one another in humility."
I want this. I want this with God of course but also with my husband. We are called to submit to one another because it mirrors the relationship of the trinity. There's a beautiful harmony to it... it's what makes relationships work, and I want it. It's in understanding the importance and meaning of submission that I finally understand the idea of dying to myself, and becoming less so that He may become more.
{Sitting down, He called the twelve and said to them, “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all."} Mark 9:35
Lord today I see it so clearly. I see how holding on to this entitlement of control is hurting my marriage and hurting my relationship with you. Thank you Lord. Forgive me Jesus for holding on, forgive my rebellion and pride ultimately rooted in the fear of being unimportant, unloved and not valued. I know this couldn't be further from your heart. Forgive me for seeking an identity apart from you. Restore me Jesus... thank you for tenderly opening my eyes to this barrier between us! I receive your freedom.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the F.E. blog, about fight night and about the dreams and plans God has put on my mind and embedded in my guts. When I think about it all, sometimes I'm exciting and honestly sometimes I wonder if any of it really matters. I know it does down deep but sometimes it just feels like one more thing to sell, and I'm sick of selling. That's when I realize though that I've moved from having the mind of Christ to the mind of Lindsay... I've taken the control back... I've started scheming about how to make things happen my way and in my time and it's depressing because it feels huge and overwhelming and impossible.
Yesterday I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the throat. I felt defeated about everything... EVERYTHING. I'm on my period, I'm flippen sick, my kids were going nuts and I was pretty sure the brown stripe on the sheets next to me wasn't chocolate (a parting gift from one of my monkeys... fun times) annnnnnd that's when I knew I had to choose to laugh and pull back from the situation or I would've had to drink an entire bottle of wine in the fetal position in the corner of my room to recover.
The enemy often tries to get the heaviness of "right now" to cloud our eternal perspectives. But if we continue focus on ourselves and our needs... our entitlements and how we feel... WE will stay stuck. Fear can disguise it's self and the great accuser will use it to twist and distort reality. The enemy will take an atom sized portion of insecurity, anger, or selfishness and blow it up until it feels heavy and threatens to collapse us under it's enormous weight.
Fear is the root of so many things... fear keeps us from growing, it keeps us from moving forward and it keeps us from weeding out the lies that hold us back... because sometimes we don't want to see them.
Going fearless is the very first step we have to take in being truly transformed... it's the first step in smashing the enemy's pull in our lives, it's the first step in showing God we actually believe He can do mighty things in our lives and we're willing to prove it with life instead of just sining about it on Sundays.
Going fearless means everything, because it is everything. It's freedom and adventure and love and joy and everything life should be. Fearless means not being threatened by another's success and pushing others toward greatness while searching for call and giftings IN HIM. Being fearless is not being afraid to risk it all because He tells us He has our backs. The best thing about going fearless though?? ANYONE CAN DO IT! I want to scream:
I am ordinary... HEAR ME ROAR!
Because I am ordinary ANNND I am choosing to go fearless because of Him. Anyone who believes in Christ and His promises can live a life that means something, that's significant, that can change the world and the course of history. My wonder boys can be fearless... no matter what challenges autism and the social ramifications living with a neurological disorder brings... they can still claim victory in Christ and live bold fearless lives... and they do, it's kind of beautiful actually.
Fearless is a battle cry for young and old, rich and poor, man or woman... Living fearless is for you. He's asking you to try it... He's asking you to live it... are you ready??? It's scary I won't lie... you'll have to leave the rules and boxes that make you feel safe... God doesn't live in a box or a building or a set of check lists to follow... and He's calling us to follow... can you leave it all behind for him?? It won't be easy... but you won't be alone.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Romans 8:15-17
Ready for freedom? If you're in Southern Oregon come check out FIGHT NIGHT! We meet the second Monday of every month to fight for our families, and for the revival Christ is stirring in our guts!Women are scary! I get that... it can be intimidating to walk in expecting to feel judged but seriously this is a great group of women and we all check our crap at the door! No judging, no false fronts, just realness, grace and love (don't worry I'm not going to break out in a song of Kumbaiya :) Next FIGHT NIGHT: Oct 8, 7-9 at Havana Republic Downtwon Medford.
My friend Kinsy and I were having a deep discussion about prayer and our "calling". How often do our prayers include requests that God banish our fears, fill us with peace, solve our every problem? If I were an opera singer this is where I would interject "ME ME ME ME!!!" Why do we tend to think God has failed, or at the very least , forgotten us when life gets hard? Kinsy shared from Max Lucado's Revelation study this little sumpin' sumpin' that might crack you over the head like it did me:
--The world doesn't revolve around us. Our comfort is not God's priority. If it is, something's gone awry. God does not exist to make a big deal out of us. We exist to make a big deal out of him. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's ALL about HIM.--
We, as weak humans, never want it to hurt or for life to get down and dirty. But put us at the height of a spiritual revelation and we exclaim "Ooh ahh, THIS is what God called ME to do." ...again I puff myself up and along comes Oswald Chambers to 'nudge' my perspective with that needle he often uses to take the wind out of MY sails:
--"For one radiant flashing moment we see His purpose , and we say 'Here i am, send ME!!' This call has nothing to do with PERSONAL SANCTIFICATION, but with being made broken bread and poured out wine. Yet God can never make us into wine if we object to the fingers HE chooses to use to crush us. We say "If only He would use His own fingers, and make me broken bread and poured out wine in a special way, then I wouldn't object!" But when He uses someone we dislike, or some set of circumstances to which we said we would NEVER submit, to crush us, then we object."-- (My Utmost for His Highest)
What is it that makes us continually sing our "ME ME ME ME" song? Why is it so hard to die to ourselves and just give all the glory to God? What is with our self-centered incessant need to always be all that and a bag of chips? We want to be the sun, the moon and all the stars. If only we could just be the moon:
The moon models our role.
What does the moon do? She generates no light. Contrary to the lyrics of the song, this harvest moon cannot shine on. Apart from the sun, the moon is nothing more than a pitch black, pockmarked rock. But properly positioned, the moon beams. Let her do what she was made to do, and a clod of dirt becomes a source of inspiration, yea, verily, romance. The moon reflects a greater light. And she is happy to do so! You never hear the moon complaining. She makes no waves about making waves. Let the cow jump over her or astronauts step on her; she never objects. Even though sunning is accepted while mooning is the butt of bad jokes, you won't hear ol' Cheese-face grumble. The moon is at peace in her place. And because she is, soft light touches a dark earth. What would happen if we accepted our place as SON reflectors? (From It's Not About Me by Max Lucado)
Let me be content to be nothing more than a pitch black, pock-marked rock, reflecting a little soft light on a dark earth.
I’m a 57 year old wife, mother, grandmother and farmer. These tags are important to me, yes they define me, but they don’t incapsulate who I am. I love God, my family and dear friends. I love to garden, cook and talk to my chickens, and in the midst of all of that…I SEE SQUIRRELS! So I’ll use this page to sort that out…. or not. I am the queen of fragmented/run away sentences and my use of …… is it’s own punctuation. I like to write as if no one is reading… which shouldn’t be a problem.
My word or words from God recently have been "RELATIONSHIP" He's shown me how to turn from offenses but also how I have offended others. It is blatant to me now how huge a bait of satan offenses are. OFFENSES DESTROY RElATIONSHIP. God wants our top relationship to be with Him but how can we develop that when other important relationships are crumbling. Anyhoo look at Monday's Utmost For His Highest:
...it was ALL good but I loved/hated this last paragraph: "Never disregard a conviction that the Holy Spirit brings to you. If it is important enough for the Spirit of God to bring it to your mind, it is the very thing He is detecting in you. You were looking for some big thing to give up while God is telling you of some tiny thing that must go. But behind that tiny thing lies the stronghold of OBSTINANCY, (He keeps bringing me back to this) and you say, "I will not give up my right to mySELF"- the very thing that God intends you to give up if you are to be a disciple of Jesus Christ."
People are struggling daily with the people in their lives whether it's friends or family. Someone is always pissing someone off with words or actions or non actions. BUT it is ALL about relationship, relationship is what is destroyed with every offense. The very thing God calls us to is unravelling. I see satan everywhere now. But we as prideful SELF filled and SELF worshipping HUMANS are not willing to give up the one thing it takes to rectify the endless circle of destruction...ourSELVES.
I’m a 57 year old wife, mother, grandmother and farmer. These tags are important to me, yes they define me, but they don’t incapsulate who I am. I love God, my family and dear friends. I love to garden, cook and talk to my chickens, and in the midst of all of that…I SEE SQUIRRELS! So I’ll use this page to sort that out…. or not. I am the queen of fragmented/run away sentences and my use of …… is it’s own punctuation. I like to write as if no one is reading… which shouldn’t be a problem.
"Also is not good for a person to be without knowledge." Proverbs 19:2
You know those times you begin to walk through something and you become very aware that you will NOT EVER be the same? You know that as you have chosen this, thing, let's call it and because you have chosen it you can never go back to who you used to be, and you can never go back what you used to do. Well here I AM standing (well I am actually sitting on a chair at a table) in front of you shouting to the masses...
I CAN NEVER BE THE SAME!!!
I have had many moments of realizing this, sitting in a prayer room as God shows me a picture of something that I later find out has happened in the news over in Egypt...in that moment....CHANGED. That moment was the realization that I have found something worth dying for, a God far bigger and better than I ever could have imagined. I had stepped over the line of mediocre Christianity. Immediately following this moment a friend comes and pray for me and says that the Lord has marked you as a Firebrand of Holiness. WHOA!!! Yeah something happened on that day. My life was the Lord's, He could do anything He wanted to me, so that He could anything He wanted through me. It was a done deal, sealed and marked HIS!!!
I have again come to another line this week. As many of you know, I am participating in a school about Biblical Foundation and Apologetics. This weeks lecture has been about the state of the world. We are not being informed of all of this to scare us, but to bring us to the place where we know the only answer is Jesus. As I watch this movie on radical Islam I am weeping as I was the deception and lies ruin the lives of millions of people. Lord, I am one person how can I help? How can one girl help to shift the nations?
I must decide that the Truth that I hold on to, is the only truth, there can be no other.
I must no longer sit back with my head in the sand hoping that someone else will speak up. I must live my life in accordance with the Scripture and as Linz said yesterday let the Spirit bring transformation in my life. I must be transformed and then the spheres can be. The enemy is so good at sneaking in silly lies in every area of our lives. And so many we have come to believe as truth. In this last week and a half I have been exposed to lies that are rocking my world. They are opening my eyes to a greater need for truth! My heart has been stirred to love and know Jesus, but more than that, to know Jesus with my mind, to look back in history and see that it's repeating itself. I no longer desire to be a Christian asleep at the wheel, holding the truth that could solidify foundations of the world in my hands. The Word of Truth and a life lived led by the Spirit exposes us to the line in the sand....I've stepped over, you wanna come?
It's been almost a year since the painful root of rebellion was ripped from my flesh, it was excruciating but sweet and freeing at the same time. I SO AM GRATEFUL. As God continues to open my eyes, he does more than just gently reveal the crap the needs to be tilled from my core, He gives me glimpses of the freedom and powerful story he has for my future. As I let go of the things that have tethered me in fear for the past 30 years, my eyes are opened to the intense furnace of anger and pride and bitterness I still harbor, and He speaks to me so gently as if He is coaxing a scared, injured animal out of a corner. He reminds me of his promises for my life, He reminds me that I am created to do EVEN more than He did in his short ministry on earth. And as I hear his truth and bury it like a seed in my guts, my clenched fists are slowly slowly starting to let go of the past, the heart break and rejection, the humiliation and feeling so incredibly insignificant.... and as I let go each day I experience just a little more of the freedom He has for me. I AM SO GRATEFUL.
You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires. -Colossians 2:20-23
Here's my point. We all have crap we know needs to be out of our lives. But real transformation can ONLY come from the prompting of the Holy Spirit... and that prompting for change is always about growth and freedom and being built up by the Creator of the universe. Guilt and condemnation come from man made rules and judgmental legalism. It's important to know the difference... it's important to remember GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD. And when a spirit filled transformation starts... look out... because YOU WILL BE TRANSFORMED! YOU WILL HAVE VICTORY!
Man made rules, aka rules of this world, can make us feel good about ourselves, but I honestly believe they are a trap designed by the enemy. If we feel we are "good enough"... why would we ever think we need to be transformed in Christ? If I can check church and my quiet time off my list, I'm good right? If I can prove that I never watch a rated R movie and never have anything to drink... I'm good right?? I'm not knocking the personal conviction some people feel about these areas... AT ALL... but at the end of the day they are just rules... MAN MADE... and if we seek rules out of fear of what could happen, we could totally bypass the whole step of being transformed by the power of Christ.
If this makes you squidgy... if you're thinking WHOA she just crossed the line... maybe it's time to pray for God to reveal the areas of your life He wants to transform... the areas that need to be rooted out in the name of FREEDOM and GRACE and GROWTH. Because when these things happen the fruit of your life will scream and radiate the intimate relationship you're experiencing with our creator, and there will be no need for rules... no need for safety. It won't be enough for you anymore, once you've tasted true victory and freedom and grace and God's mighty power you won't be able to go back and live a life of checklists and merely meeting christian expectations. Today I dare you to stop being a rule follower ... because Jesus wasn't a rule follower He was a radical, He couldn't settle for the status quo and neither should we.
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." - John 14:27
I'm sitting here typing with an avulsion fracture on my ankle, a sweet little souvenir I got to keep from our big vintage fair this weekend. A reminder that my body can't go at the rate that I was previously operating at ANNND a kick in the teeth by perspective.
When I saw the above saying on Pinterest... "STOP THE GLORIFICATION OF BUSY" I screamed "YES" out loud. Yes, my kids are completely used to spastic random outbursts like that from me:):)
Sooo.... WHY do we do it??? Have you ever got in those "conversations" with other women about how crazy life is and have it turn into some sort of contest about who's life is the busiest, who has the most kids, the most laundry the most projects all on the smallest amount of sleep... blah blah blahbady blah!!! I've done it! I bet you've done it... and we need to STOP! In the name of Jesus... WE NEED TO STOP PRETENDING BUSY= GOOD.
There's so much personal fulfillment we get from being busy... if you're insecure in any way being busy and "out there" about what you're doing can bring lots of pats on the back, lots of sympathy and lots accolades annnnnd if you're doing just enough you might just get the coveted "I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT ALL."
PUKE!!!!
GIRLS we are made for MORE than being "busy".
A couple of weeks ago a good friend said "I don't know how you do it all" to me and God used something that used to puff me up to convict me and start an upheaval of something needing to be broken off in me. Let me tell you how I've done it all... I've put my kids, my husband, my sex life, (yup), my passions etc. all on the back burner. I mean you have to if you're really going to do "it all." Why is that OK?? Why is it celebrated?? Why do I feel guilty about wanting to have an actual hobby that has nothing to do with grocery shopping or taking the car through the car wash alone? I'm done! We get ONE LIFE PEOPLE... I don't think at the end we're going to say, "Ohh I wish I would have done one more thing out of guilt so I could have ignored my family just a little more..."
Now, I will say, our fair was a lot of work... it was long hours and a wee bit of stress. But it was also God ordained. It was so fulfilling and something we enjoyed as a family and even in it's challenges there was growth and community and deepening of relationships. I'm actually not talking about the fair... it's all of the other little things I said yes to on top of the fair that God did not call me to. Things that were done out of guilt or not knowing how to say no. Things I added to my plate that were just distractions from the journey HE HAS ORDAINED FOR ME.
I fully realize I'm rambling... but can I get an AMEN? I'm sick of going and doing and pleasing others at my family's expense and at the expense of the calling God has given me. My friend just voxed me today and said our time here is short! IT IS, it's short girls!!! We can't waste it by being 'busy" with stuff He hasn't called us to.
So how do you know if what you're doing is from God and not just a distraction of business from the enemy?? As Heather C. reminded me today... GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD... the enemy wants us to believe every second of our days need to be filled. He wants us to believe our kids need to be occupied 24/7 and he covers us with guilt and makes us feel like we have to apologize for quiet afternoons or evenings at home. It's when we stop going and doing and we focus on relationships that we see what needs repaired ... we can be still and hear God's voice... we can teach our kids their significance is in Christ and not in what is accomplished in a day. And the ENEMY does NOT want that.
As a recovering people pleaser these are not easy words to write. It's scary to slow down! What will people think when my answer is no? Not, "No I have 7 other commitments," but "No, that doesn't work for me right now." As I am forced via a fractured ankle to slow down I am seeing what God has been trying to show me for months. Is this message for you too?? Lets STOP together... lets STOP asking women how they get it "all" done... because I guarantee you somethings NOT being done and it's most likely her poor husband. Let's STOP celebrating it ... and let's stop doing it... together... ready??? One... Two... Three... STOP!
As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” -Luke 10:38-42
In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for
“God opposes the proud
but favors the humble.”
-1 Peter 5:5
It's always made me squidgy when people, actors, singers... whoever say, "I'm humbled by..." I guess I never really understood what it meant and half the time it feels wrote and completely not genuine anyway.
When we received our new home... built by the sacrifices of our community... built by contractors and carpenters and volunteers who were out of work and even homeless, for the first time I knew the depths of what that phrase means. It's this feeling in your guts that makes you want to cry and throw up and praise God all at once. It's a stripping of any fronts before God and his people. It's feeling naked and exposed and unworthy but so very grateful. And it's in this humbled state that God can mold us and grow us and true, deep, REAL relationships and communities can be cemented together.
Years ago my husband C.J. was a youth pastor at a local church. On our last outreach with our high school group we did a mission to Medford and served different people in our community. At night we took the kids to a campground about an hour north of us to sing and pray and reflect on how God moved throughout the day. On the last night of this last adventure with our kids C.J. challenged us all to pray the scariest prayer we could pray.
"LORD, HUMBLE ME."
He said if we did it would be one of the most spiritually powerful things we would ever experience... and to watch out... because God would answer this. I didn't pray the prayer that night... I was too afraid. For like a decade I have continued to be afraid of those three words. It hasn't been until I've truly experienced and seen the heart of God over the past year that I realize this prayer won't bring embarrassment or humiliation... I have pictured myself on my knees praying this and instantly getting a blistering rash over my face or tripping and falling down in front of lots of people or walking around all day with my zipper undone. Seriously!! I thought those things are what this prayer would bring... but after experiencing the build, after experiencing the affects of the tearing away of years of crap that's held me back... by God's sweet gentle grace, I realized praying this prayer will result in beauty, rawness, and growth that can only come from really really trusting that God wants to give me an abundant life of love and freedom.
As I was talking to my friend the other day on the phone and we were discussing our secret motives, our need to be liked and praised by people and we just prayed... right there over the phone, on her break at work... LORD, HUMBLE US. When I was done praying she said HOLY CRAP Lindsay, you just asked God to humble us... bring it!!
Good news, no skin eating plague has struck my house, no huge embarrassments in front of large crowds has occurred (well, no more than usual at least.) What has happened... true, unadulterated vulnerability before God... deeper friendships, more awareness of what is keeping me from knowing Him and a growing trust, from a girl that trusts no one, in my God, my husband, my family and friends. This prayer is only scary if you're afraid to let go of the false fronts you put up... it's only scary if you're not ready to have walls be broken down and your eyes opened to who HE created you to be. It's been a mighty and powerful prayer that I will continue to pray on this journey... the only thing I regret is not praying it sooner!
LORD, HUMBLE US.Pray it with me girls! Jesus, strip us of ourselves. Peal back the layers of doubt, anger, control, self-hate, insecurity, pride, cynicism, rebellion and jealousy. Reveal us for who we are IN YOU. Help us yearn for the rawness and realness that comes with this prayer... move us forward, open our eyes to see who you created us to be... use this prayer to break down walls and bust out vaults that are keeping us from knowing and loving you... and each other.... praise you Jesus for a new day and a fresh start... give us eyes to see your reality. -Amen
If He came so that we could have life and have it abundantly, do you ever owner if you're just missing something? The difference between what He actually wants for us and what we think he wants for us is cavernous sometimes. We are so good at playing church or acting "the part" inside our little boxes, that we can lose ourselves, we can lose the unique identity he plugged into our DNA. We all go through seasons of struggle and survival... it's when those seasons go on for months and years that the enemy rejoices. I know I have allowed life, autism, financial struggles, insecurity, fear, and my need for security and control keep me in seasons of spiritual decay (aka complacency) for too long. I also know that it's those things that cause everyday to feel like groundhog day that keep me feeling discontent and disconnected to God and His people.
Last night a group of women came up to fight for the important things in life... we came together to fight for our marriages, our kids, our callings and our identities in Christ. Don't break out in song yet... rather than stringing together fluffy kumbaya moments we proclaimed truth over each other and in prayer for ourselves. IF WE LONG FOR TRUE REVIVAL IN OUR LIVES WE HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT, we have to long for it, we have to stand up and accept that abundant life Christ promised us... and that's just what we did!
We finished the night with these african revival prayers I stole from Brian Brennt in his Circuit Rider's pod casts. There is something powerful about 70 ish women standing together and shouting them out loud together. If you couldn't come last night, here is what we prayed, say these words, believe these words and the embers of revival will ignite!
{Prayer 1} I receive Christ's fire and fresh ANOINTING in the name of Jesus! {Prayer 2} Every yoke working working against spiritual growth in my life, BREAK in the name of Jesus! {Prayer 3} Every area of incomplete deliverance in my life, receive complete deliverance BY FIRE in the name of Jesus! {Prayer 4} Every destructive habit designed to waste my calling, DIE in the name of Jesus! {Prayer 5} Holy Ghost fire DESTROY every work of darkness in my life! And here is what we proclaimed over each other:
“Arise, _(insert your name)__! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you_(insert your name)__. Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth, but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you. All nations will come to your light; mighty kings will come to see your radiance_(insert your name)__.
-Isaiah 60:1-3 (thanks Kelli for this!!!)
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." -James 1:5-8
Today pray these prayers and believe HE WILL ANSWER THEM! It's a new day time for a fresh start... it's time to move mountains, no more excuses!
Hi my name is Lindsay and I am a closet control freak. I mean, I came out of the womb with that screw you shoulder bob and I'm pretty sure my first sentence was, "uhhh don't tell me what to do." My first draft of wedding vows purposefully left out the word "submit" because I couldn't stomach the word... but then I added it back in because I knew people wouldn't expect it and IIIIIIIIIII wanted to be in control of what people thought of me. BUT the funny thing is I've never EVER thought of myself struggling with control...
Ahhh, as I write I'm reeling... God has revealed so much to me in the past few days of my need for control. The way I put myself down before others have a chance to so I can control how much of my junk they can see. Not letting my kids venture out and do extracurricular activities unless I'm 2 feet from them, so people can't see how out of control autism makes our lives. Going COMPLETELY CRAZY, (like we're talking Wanda the witch on crack) if someone changes my schedule. Oh and my crowning glory.. growing a snarling second head and castrating my husband with my words if I feel like he's trying to "control" me in the slightestest way...
CRAAAAP!!! I could go on for days about how I am a certified control queen, BUT the point of this is growth, redemption and finding out what keeps me from being who God created me to be. It's almost exciting to constantly see the strongholds God points out a) because there is NO CONDEMNATION in Christ... so while it's not pretty... there is no guilt... just freedom to change and b) because in ripping these ugly parts out of me I am growing in God's grace and power and as I get my junk out of the way he uses me in different ways that are exciting, full of adventure and serious joy.
Either way, CHRIST'S LOVE CONTROLS US. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.
-2 Corinthians 5:14-15
I love what Brian Brennt says about control in the Freedom Resource Manual, "Control can become so integrated into a personality that we may not be able to detect any element of it. It can hide so deep within us that we may be unable to distinguish between our true, God- given personality, and the stronghold of control. Our sense of identity and our emotions can be completely submerged in the stronghold of control."
A friend and I were talking the other day and she was saying how the thing that absolutely undoes her in others is usually something she's struggling with ... without even knowing it. CONTROL has been that for me. My biggest fights with my husband have been when I feel like he's trying to control me... and if we're getting really down and dirty I have always had NO problem calling it out and being SUPER judgmental when I think someone else has "control" issues.
Today I am choosing break the stronghold of control in my life! I confess that it has driven me and kept me from Jesus and being the woman He created me to be. I confess I have sinned in the name of needing to control my life and in the name of not wanting to be controlled by anyone or anything. But I break the enemy's power... in the name of Jesus I bind satan from the area of control in my life. It's done it's over, it's finished... Lord Jesus fill me with your love and grace. Give me the strength to pry my white clenching knuckles off of this part of my life... I want to be controlled by your love... I want to live your way... I want to move mountains and be the healer of hearts you have called me to be... and I know I can't do that while being strangled by the need to control. Amen....
Do you struggle with needing to control certain areas of your life? Is it something you need to break off?? Then do it... to be uber spiritual about this: it's time to poop or get off the pot... seriously!! It's time! Need prayer??? I'll pray with you... This journey is hard and scary and gross sometimes but it's also UH-MAZING and adventurous and exciting!!!!!
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.-Romans 12:2
God has done some UH-MAZING... INCREDIBLE things up here on HOPE HILL in the past month! There has been repentance, acceptance, baptism, community, REEEEEVIVAL people. I feel like it's just a snowball effect and God is doing it all!
How amazing it is to see other people transformed and to see how God is using this huge gift He has given us only a year after the "build". Here's the thing though and it's powerful and true and right and it is something my mom told me about 17 years ago as I prepared to leave for my first long term mission. I believe I was in the living room calling my little brother an effing little SOB when my mom popped her head in and said, "Hey Linz, guess what... your mission starts here.. at home, with your family." I think I rolled my eyes and finished mutalating little denny with my hate and anger.
This morning at 33, as I was weeping in her kitchen, she reminded me the same thing. I am being transformed... GOD IS CHANGING ME!!! hmm hmm, but I wonder if my husband and kids would notice the change. I'm game for whatever God has up on The Hill.. but asking me to be joyful or have grace at home... not so much. Praise GOD FOR HIS GRACE! Praise God that he used my moms words again to remind me where the revival he has set before needs to start... HOME... HUSBAND... CHILDREN...
Today I confess and repent for the anger and control that have been dictating my attitude toward my family... today I claim victory... I claim surrender and the opulent freedom that comes with letting go. I give my agenda for the day to you jesus! Not just in words but from the depths of my guts Lord! Transform me... not just the me people on the outside see... transform my core... let me husband and kids be the recipients of your work in me... REVIVAL LORD... TRUE REVIVAL is what I'm calling out and longing for... get rid of all of the other crap that has kept me bound and held me back!!
As I sat at lunch yesterday with a friend, we were talking deep stuff as we sipped on our oh so delicious basil lemonade!!! Yummy! It was so good...I just got distracted thinking about it and forgot what I wanted to write....OK regroup. So we were talking deep, tears, laughter, and all of it. This weekend I found freedom, chains gone, unbound from the greatest wound that existed in my heart!!! The greatest one...GONE.
After I was done sharing a few simple words came from her mouth, "Surrender leads to so much healing." As my smiled stayed stuck on my face, my eyes welled up with tears I realized the surrender that had occurred in my life. For a quick moment I was proud of myself, so stoked that my brokenness led to another massive heart change. While reading Tozer the other day I came across this quote and I'm pretty sure I had to read it like 5 times, then write it down, then meditate on it, then be utterly broken by it.
“Self is the opaque veil that hides the face of God from us. It can be removed only in spiritual experience, never by mere instruction, as well try to instruct leprosy out of your system. There must be a work of God in destruction before we are free. We must invite the cross to do its deadly work within us. We must bring our self-sin (self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love) to the cross for judgement we must prepare ourselves for an ordeal of suffering in some measure like that through which our Savior passed when he suffered under Pontius Pilate.
Let us remember when we talk of the rending of the veil we are speaking in a figure; and the thought of it is poetical, almost pleasant; but in actuality there is nothing pleasant about it. In human experience that veil is made of living spiritual tissue; it is composed of the sentient, quivering stuff of which our whole beings consist, and to touch us where we feel pain. To tear it away is to injure us, to hurt us, and make us bleed, to say otherwise is to make the cross no cross and death no death at all. It is never fun to die. To rip through the dear tender stuff of which life is made can never be anything but deeply painful. Yet that is what the cross did to Jesus and it is what the cross would do to every man to set him free.”
A.W. Tozer
Great victory usually comes after a great battle. In one of my most favorite books, Hinds Feet on High Places...I know, I know I talk about it alot, but it's just that good! Much Afraid is going to altar to rid herself of her natural love and natural desires. She tries to pull them out herself but realizes that the roots are literally intertwined into every part of her being. She is absolutely unable to pull them all out herself. As she comes to an altar there is a figure there. She says to him,
"I am a very great coward. I am afraid that the pain may cause me to try to resist you. Will you bind me to the altar in some way so that I cannot move? I would not like to be found struggling while the will of my Lord is done."
He then binds her to the altar and pulls out her human love and human desire. In it's place is a gaping hole for the supernatural love and desires of the Lord to grow. It took her being bound, not all of our surrender will take that much surrender, but the big stuff will, we are human and it will hurt and our tendency is to fight or run.
Dear Lord as Ruth says to Naomi, so be my prayer to you, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; where you live, I'll live. your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God-not even death itself is going to come between us." Ruth 1:17
What a dang night last night!!! I was so blown away by the way the Lord moved and the testimonies that have been stirring in the last 12 hours!!! I am so honored to have been given the opportunity to speak last night! I must also say....
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! The generosity shown last night a you gave was UNBELIEVABLE.
In a post a few months ago I read aloud this word given to me by a friend. I felt very called to post it again for you to read and to tuck away...married, single, or dating! It has been such an encouraging word in my story!! I hope it opens every part of your heart, soul, and mind to the relationship that the Lord is so eager to have with YOU.
No one will ever fill the longings of our soul like the one who created those longings, desires, and dreams. The Lord is the only one who can. No other will ever love us or affirm us like the Lord want to do. He wants to woo us, to carry our burdens, and speak tenderly to our hearts.
"Everyone longs to give themselves to someone. To have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a Christian says, "no, not until you're satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by Me alone and giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have a intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. I love you My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me...exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow me to have the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep that satisfaction knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait."
"Don't be anxious and don't worry. Don't look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me or you'll miss what I have to show you."
"And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for is ready, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time, and until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I've prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is the perfect love."
"And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know I love you.
I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."
So God I just pray for a desire and a hunger inside each one of us to know you as you can be known. I pray that our hearts would be so tightly knit to yours that no other would suffice. That our desire for you would be all that would satisfy and that all else would be an added bonus to our lives. Lord, teach us how to seek you, teach us to hear your voice, teach us how to be still before you. Teach us to love like you love! Amen
While some people hide behind a wall of FALSE perfection... I hide behind a wall of raw vomit. Well, hmmhmm, let me explain... I have always thought if I can tell you all the crap about me up front, you will know that I know that I'm a wreck BEFORE you point it out.
Anywhooo... it's in the rawness and realness that I feel the most comfortable, not because I'm so great but because weirdly it's my defense mechanism, it's always been hard for me to accept the good stuff. This though, has been satan's number one route to hold me back in life. I've realized, there is a difference between being upfront, raw and real (all good) and being a self loathing, guilt ridden person who lives in a shadow of fear and condemnation. I'm in transition though. Learning that it's ok to own the good stuff while recognizing and throwing out the crap...
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. -Romans 8:1-2
There is beauty in my own weakness. There is something incredible about the fact that He can take the extremely under-qualified (me, you, those 12 guys back in the day)and turn us into extraordinary creations set-up to shake the foundations of the earth. It's easy to believe the bad, but it takes a little extra gumption to also believe the great about ourselves.
Why is it so hard to say "I am Uh-flippen-mazing" ... I am bold, I'm a leader, I am courageous and compassionate... HE made me this way... so why is it so hard to own?!?!?
All through the new testament it says, "Ask in my name and I'll give it to you."{John 14:13}"Nothing is impossible with Christ"{Luke 1:37 NLT}, "I can do all things through Christ."{Philippians 4:13} THIS IS REALITY... but so many times we choose to believe in our own strength or we choose to believe we are defined by our short comings, resulting in a stale faith and a luke warm life of just surviving.
Everything great that has ever happened in my life has taken place when I've been vulnerably, noticeably UNDER-QUALIFIED. I went to Chile to serve and didn't speak a lick of spanish, I got married before I had a clue about what love really is or about how to respect or submit (years of ouch), I had my first baby 4 weeks early and while I thought I knew EVERYTHING... I knew NOTHING(shut up mom)... we moved to Portland on a whim because God called us so we just left ... house unsold, we left a paying job to follow a dream in a new industry in a down economy, we moved home home with nothing, no money no job no home... praying for HOPE for our broken family... we were nominated for a little contest and against all odds, even though we didn't fit the bill, we were chosen to receive the most monstrous gift a community could give. [EDITORS NOTE: I am fully aware this is a hugely long run on sentence...but it's how I talk so get over it:):)]
I'll be 33 this month and I am so grateful that I can stand up now and say, I love the person He is turning me into (gasp... can I say that???). I love that I feel like I can see a glimpse of what he's talking about in those verses above. I LOVE that I can't brag about these things for my glory but anything good in me is ONLY because he turned my dirty laundry into something quirky and great...
Today is the day girls... TODAY is the day to START OWNING the great stuff about YOU. Today is the DAY to worship our Creator by being brave enough to LOVE all of the great things He put inside of you AND to start using them to bulldoze mountains!!
We all have crap and baggage, there are times when we seriously suck BUT we can't let those things define who we are.
If you're struggling beyond comprehension, if you're stepping out in faith (or falling out butt first like me), if you're searching for purpose or identity... know that these are all opportunities to OWN the greatness he has planted inside of you. Know that these are the seasons that can make you even greater and that YOU and I, CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM... NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE... ASK IN HIS NAME AND HE WILL GIVE IT.... but to believe this you have to believe He made you for GREATNESS...
God was with us and Lindsay had a powerful message to share. Two words kept repeating- REPENT and FREEDOM. Linz pointed out that 'repent' is an action word and freedom , or at least freedom from sin, will be the result of repentance. Recognizing repentance as an action word is huge in itself. I for one get too wrapped up in 'feelings'. It is important to understand that the kind of repentance - the verb - repentance, is NOT a feeling. It is so easy to feel remorse for a choice. I personally can wallow in that sorrow. You know how a pig likes to wallow and allow the mud to swallow them up? Yeah like that. As miserable as it makes me feel to realize my sin, I feel like it is my penitence to hold on to it...i.e: wallow with it. Like God will be pleased with my suffering. Does anybody besides me see something wrong with this picture??? If we allow ourselves to identify with what Christ did for us on the cross we could be relieved to know that Christ has already done our suffering- the ultimate gift. It requires faith on our part to accept this gift. Faith, unlike repentance, requires us to not do things, but to believe things. BUT to repent, to turn from sin, MUST BE TIED TO ACTION. Following Jesus means more than saying (or feeling) the right words- It means acting on what He says. (Luke 3:7-9) God has revealed to me that my incessant need to hold on and wallow is a complete waste of time and energy. It brings Him no glory and it allows me the wasted opportunity to continually revisit my sorrow and not grow in my relationship with Him.......
