Going Fearless: Is it for you?

I've been thinking a lot lately about the F.E. blog, about fight night and about the dreams and plans God has put on my mind and embedded in my guts. When I think about it all, sometimes I'm exciting and honestly sometimes I wonder if any of it really matters. I know it does down deep but sometimes it just feels like one more thing to sell, and I'm sick of selling. That's when I realize though that I've moved from having the mind of Christ to the mind of Lindsay... I've taken the control back... I've started scheming about how to make things happen my way and in my time and it's depressing because it feels huge and overwhelming and impossible.

Yesterday I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the throat. I felt defeated about everything... EVERYTHING.  I'm on my period, I'm flippen sick, my kids were going nuts and I was pretty sure the brown stripe on the sheets next to me wasn't chocolate (a parting gift from one of my monkeys... fun times) annnnnnd that's when I knew I had to choose to laugh and pull back from the situation or I would've had to drink an entire bottle of wine in the fetal position in the corner of my room to recover.

The enemy often tries to get the heaviness of "right now" to cloud our eternal perspectives. But if we continue focus on ourselves and our needs... our entitlements and how we feel... WE will stay stuck. Fear can disguise it's self and the great accuser will use it to twist and distort reality. The enemy will take an atom sized portion of insecurity, anger, or selfishness and blow it up until it feels heavy and threatens to collapse us under it's enormous weight.

Fear is the root of so many things... fear keeps us from growing, it keeps us from moving forward and it keeps us from weeding out the lies that hold us back... because sometimes we don't want to see them.

Going fearless is the very first step we have to take in being truly transformed... it's the first step in smashing the enemy's pull in our lives, it's the first step in showing God we actually believe He can do mighty things in our lives and we're willing to prove it with life instead of just sining about it on Sundays.

Going fearless means everything, because it is everything. It's freedom and adventure and love and joy and everything life should be. Fearless means not being threatened by another's success and pushing others toward greatness while searching for call and giftings IN HIM. Being fearless is not being afraid to risk it all because He tells us He has our backs. The best thing about going fearless though?? ANYONE CAN DO IT!  I want to scream:

I am ordinary... HEAR ME ROAR! 

Because I am ordinary ANNND I am choosing to go fearless because of Him. Anyone who believes in Christ and His promises can live a life that means something, that's significant, that can change the world and the course of history. My wonder boys can be fearless... no matter what challenges autism and the social ramifications living with a neurological disorder brings... they can still claim victory in Christ and live bold fearless lives... and they do, it's kind of beautiful actually.

Fearless is a battle cry for young and old, rich and poor, man or woman... Living fearless is for you. He's asking you to try it... He's asking you to live it... are you ready??? It's scary I won't lie... you'll have to leave the rules and boxes that make you feel safe... God doesn't live in a box or a building or a set of check lists to follow... and He's calling us to follow... can you leave it all behind for him?? It won't be easy... but you won't be alone.

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Romans 8:15-17

Ready for freedom? If you're in Southern Oregon come check out FIGHT NIGHT! We meet the second Monday of every month to fight for our families, and for the revival Christ is stirring in our guts!Women are scary! I get that... it can be intimidating to walk in expecting to feel judged but seriously this is a great group of women and we all check our crap at the door! No judging, no false fronts, just realness, grace and love (don't worry I'm not going to break out in a song of Kumbaiya :)

Next FIGHT NIGHT: Oct 8, 7-9 at Havana Republic Downtwon Medford.

Falling Out Of "The Boat" Butt First...

If Peter stepped out of the boat and took a few steps before he started to sink... I spastically lept out of the boat and fell in butt first and then kind of slid toward Jesus like a donkey on ice before starting to sink...

To sink is to focus on my strength and abilities... to sink is to focus on building MY KINGDOM instead of his.

I've mentioned I haven't been able to write for weeks. Up until a few days ago there has just been nothing up there... I have so many thoughts through out the day and I'm going through so much spiritually, but the second I sit down to write... zero, zilch, nada... my brain is empty.

Starting this blog and then FIGHT NIGHT and the the FEARLESS AND FIT RETREAT were all apart of my spastic fall out of the safety boat. They are all things I know God is calling me too... and all things that can either be done in His Spirit for His Glory... OR in my strength to build me up. Sadly without knowing it... hmmhmm... this is hard to admit... but, like a nano second after that "pure pursuit for God", you know when I made the decision to fall out of the boat, came selfish motives that were even hidden from me.

I started to dream of how to use what God has given me for MYSELF... for MY career... for MY family's provision. None of which is wrong in itself, but for me it was because I started to use something that started so pure to fill my need for stuff and recognition outside of God's will. The nice comments on the blog and the Facebook page... the great response from fight night... I took those things and buried them in ME... while my lips said "glory to God," my heart puffed up in what I thought was my own ability.

{MOTIVE} {HEART}{CONSCIENCE}

These things are so easy to hide... but HE knows. And it occurred to me, unless it's truly for HIS glory... nothing matters. 

All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.
Proverbs 16:1-3


Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.
1 Corinthians 4:4-6

I needed to confess this... I needed to start fresh... I need to continue my quest to awkwardly fall out of the boat, but as I move forward I want to keep my focus on God and what He wants to use me for. I have come to grips with letting go of my dreams... like Abraham I am setting them on the alter... the gifts and blessings God has given me are not my own. The lump in my heart I have as I write this is my offering to God. I trust Him, I love him and I know what He has for me is beyond anything I could ever dream of... here's to pure motives and a learning to trust His dreams are what I really want.

My Prayers are in the Crapper... Yep:)

Monday morning I called up Best Portable Toilets and at 3:30 pm... Big Red... was delivered. My dad said he was sure no one had ever been so excited about a crapper being delivered, he may have been right. I was jumping up and down in a total spaz attack just thinking of what this meant for me... for our place and for what God would do here!! (Our boot camp/retreat/Fight Night area is pretty far from the house or any bathroom or electricity... so it's use the bushes or use Big Red)

Three days earlier I had called to see what Porta Potties were going for these days and was disappointed to hear it was out of my prices range. That night I spoke at an event I wasn't even originally supposed to be paid for... as I was driving away I opened the card they gave me and in it was a check for the exact amount I needed to buy my big red friend! Victory... God is so good!

We held our first FIGHT NIGHT Monday night... it was a powerful night... a night where women came together not really knowing why or  even what Fight Nights really were... but still we came together.

There is such a cavernous well of need when it comes to women searching to be loved and accepted WHERE THEY ARE. There is an entire culture of women who are thirsting for REAL... and starving for God's power, grace and mercy

... and Monday night through His grace I think a beginning was began.

Tuesday morning I woke up in a zombie like state... I had slept in the clothes I wore the day before... and instead of showering and changing... I just kept wearing them until about 10 pm... Had I showered went to my bible and refilled in His glory I think my day would have been different. But I chose to take a day for myself... I was grumpy and felt heavy, I chose not to answer the phone and completely let the kids destroy my house. It wasn't pretty but I just kept telling myself I deserved a day to myself.

When my husband got home he reminded me of a local pastor who went to africa and after a night event that drew like 15,000 people he was wiped... he wanted to spend the next day recouping and doing what he wanted... nothing wrong with that... but his african brothers hit the ground running.

They saw the event the night before as a spark ready to be ignited, where the pastor admitted to seeing the event as the climax and a successful ending. 

I want Fight Nights to be the spark... and I want everyday after to run in igniting... not necessarily with more "to do" but in how my heart functions. I have some ideas on how to make this happen but I'll save it for another post.

For now, I am so so so incredibly excited to see where this will lead. I am so so so excited to see how this group of women is going to pursue revival in our lives... I can't imagine how it will look large scale, but I can dream... and the beginning began with Big Red:) The crappiest gift I've ever been excited about! Praise the Lord for his provision because even in the seemingly small details he is laying a foundation to move forward in community and encouragement!