RULES: I dare you to stop following them...

Source: flickr.com via Gabriele on Pinterest

It's been almost a year since the painful root of rebellion was ripped from my flesh, it was excruciating but sweet and freeing at the same time. I SO AM GRATEFUL. As God continues to open my eyes, he does more than just gently reveal the crap the needs to be tilled from my core, He gives me glimpses of the freedom and powerful story he has for my future. As I let go of the things that have tethered me in fear for the past 30 years, my eyes are opened to the intense furnace of anger and pride and bitterness I still harbor, and He speaks to me so gently as if He is coaxing a scared, injured animal out of a corner. He reminds me of his promises for my life, He reminds me that I am created to do EVEN more than He did in his short ministry on earth. And as I hear his truth and bury it like a seed in my guts, my clenched fists are slowly slowly starting to let go of the past, the heart break and rejection, the humiliation and feeling so incredibly insignificant.... and as I let go each day I experience just a little more of the freedom He has for me. I AM SO GRATEFUL.

You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as,  “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”?  Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them.  These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires. -Colossians 2:20-23

Here's my point. We all have crap we know needs to be out of our lives. But real transformation can ONLY come from the prompting of the Holy Spirit... and that prompting for change is always about growth and freedom and being built up by the Creator of the universe. Guilt and condemnation come from man made rules and judgmental legalism. It's important to know the difference... it's important to remember GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD. And when a spirit filled transformation starts... look out... because YOU WILL BE TRANSFORMED! YOU WILL HAVE VICTORY!

Man made rules, aka rules of this world, can make us feel good about ourselves, but I honestly believe they are a trap designed by the enemy. If we feel we are "good enough"... why would we ever think we need to be transformed in Christ? If I can check church and my quiet time off my list, I'm good right? If I can prove that I never watch a rated R movie and never have anything to drink... I'm good right?? I'm not knocking the personal conviction some people feel about these areas... AT ALL... but at the end of the day they are just rules... MAN MADE... and if we seek rules out of fear of what could happen, we could totally bypass the whole step of being transformed by the power of Christ.

If this makes you squidgy... if you're thinking WHOA she just crossed the line... maybe it's time to pray for God to reveal the areas of your life He wants to transform... the areas that need to be rooted out in the name of FREEDOM and GRACE and GROWTH. Because when these things happen the fruit of your life will scream and radiate the intimate relationship you're experiencing with our creator, and there will be no need for rules... no need for safety. It won't be enough for you anymore, once you've tasted true victory and freedom and grace and God's mighty power you won't be able to go back and live a life of checklists and merely meeting christian expectations. Today I dare you to stop being a rule follower ... because Jesus wasn't a rule follower He was a radical, He couldn't settle for the status quo and neither should we.

Revival starts at home...

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.-Romans 12:2

God has done some UH-MAZING... INCREDIBLE things up here on HOPE HILL in the past month! There has been repentance, acceptance, baptism, community, REEEEEVIVAL people. I feel like it's just a snowball effect and God is doing it all! 

How amazing it is to see other people transformed and to see how God is using this huge gift He has given us only a year after the "build".  Here's the thing though and it's powerful and true and right and it is something my mom told me about 17 years ago as I prepared to leave for my first long term mission. I believe I was in the living room calling my little brother an effing little SOB when my mom popped her head in and said, "Hey Linz, guess what... your mission starts here.. at home, with your family." I think I rolled my eyes and finished mutalating little denny with my hate and anger.

This morning at 33, as I was weeping in her kitchen, she reminded me the same thing. I am being transformed... GOD IS CHANGING ME!!! hmm hmm, but I wonder if my husband and kids would notice the change. I'm game for whatever God has up on The Hill.. but asking me to be joyful or have grace at home... not so much. Praise GOD FOR HIS GRACE! Praise God that he used my moms words again to remind me where the revival he has set before needs to start... HOME... HUSBAND... CHILDREN... 

Today I confess and repent for the anger and control that have been dictating my attitude toward my family... today I claim victory... I claim surrender and the opulent freedom that comes with letting go. I give my agenda for the day to you jesus! Not just in words but from the depths of my guts Lord! Transform me... not just the me people on the outside see... transform my core... let me husband and kids be the recipients of your work in me... REVIVAL LORD... TRUE REVIVAL is what I'm calling out and longing for... get rid of all of the other crap that has kept me bound and held me back!!

AMEN...

The beauty of being amazingly UNDER-QUALIFIED...

While some people hide behind a wall of FALSE perfection... I hide behind a wall of raw vomit. Well, hmmhmm, let me explain... I have always thought if I can tell you all the crap about me up front, you will know that I know that I'm a wreck BEFORE you point it out. 

Anywhooo... it's in the rawness and realness that I feel the most comfortable, not because I'm so great but because weirdly it's my defense mechanism, it's always been hard for me to accept the good stuff.  This though, has been satan's number one route to hold me back in life. I've realized, there is a difference between being upfront, raw and real (all good) and being a self loathing, guilt ridden person who lives in a shadow of fear and condemnation. I'm in transition though. Learning that it's ok to own the good stuff while recognizing and throwing out the crap... 

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. -Romans 8:1-2

There is beauty in my own weakness. There is something incredible about the fact that He can take the extremely under-qualified (me, you, those 12 guys back in the day) and turn us into extraordinary creations set-up to shake the foundations of the earth. It's easy to believe the bad, but it takes a little extra gumption to also believe the great about ourselves.

Why is it so hard to say "I am Uh-flippen-mazing" ... I am bold, I'm a leader, I am courageous and compassionate... HE made me this way... so why is it so hard to own?!?!?

All through the new testament  it says, "Ask in my name and I'll give it to you."{John 14:13} "Nothing is impossible with Christ"{Luke 1:37 NLT}, "I can do all things through Christ." {Philippians 4:13} THIS IS REALITY... but so many times we choose to believe in our own strength or we choose to believe we are defined by our short comings, resulting in a stale faith and a luke warm life of just surviving.

Everything great that has ever happened in my life has taken place when I've been vulnerably, noticeably UNDER-QUALIFIED. I went to Chile to serve and didn't speak a lick of spanish, I got married before I had a clue about what love really is or about how to respect or submit (years of ouch), I had my first baby 4 weeks early and while I thought I knew EVERYTHING... I knew NOTHING(shut up mom)... we moved to Portland on a whim because God called us so we just left ... house unsold, we left a paying job to follow a dream in a new industry in a down economy, we moved home home with nothing, no money no job no home... praying for HOPE for our broken family... we were nominated for a little contest and against all odds, even though we didn't fit the bill, we were chosen to receive the most monstrous gift a community could give. 
[EDITORS NOTE: I am fully aware this is a hugely long run on sentence...but it's how I talk so get over it:):)]

I'll be 33 this month and I am so grateful that I can stand up now and say, I love the person He is turning me into (gasp... can I say that???). I love that I feel like I can see a glimpse of what he's talking about in those verses above. I LOVE that I can't brag about these things for my glory but anything good in me is ONLY because he turned my dirty laundry into something quirky and great...

Today is the day girls... TODAY is the day to START OWNING the great stuff about YOU. Today is the DAY to worship our Creator by being brave enough to LOVE all of the great things He put inside of you AND to start using them to bulldoze mountains!! 

We all have crap and baggage, there are times when we seriously suck BUT we can't let those things define who we are.

If you're struggling beyond comprehension, if you're stepping out in faith (or falling out butt first like me), if you're searching for purpose or identity... know that these are all opportunities to OWN the greatness he has planted inside of you. Know that these are the seasons that can make you even greater and that YOU and I,  CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM... NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE... ASK IN HIS NAME AND HE WILL GIVE IT.... but to believe this you have to believe He made you for GREATNESS...