When the Roman officer overseeing the execution saw what had happened, he worshiped God and said, “Surely this man was innocent.” And when all the crowd that came to see the crucifixion saw what had happened, they went home in deep sorrow. But Jesus’ friends, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance watching.
-Luke 23:47-49
Reading and reflecting over the pages of the bible I always try to identify with the characters in the stories. I, of course, always identify with people who have the most faith and are the wisest... ahahahaha! It's true though, so many times I think as I'm reading stories of the unbelief, fear or hesitation of Jesus' followers, I'm over here going, you idiot... JUST BELIEVE HIM ALREADY, HE'S RIGHT THERE WITH YOU AND YOU STILL QUESTION HIM!
Today, as I was reading about the crucifixion in Luke, the above verse caught my eye... The Roman officer saw what had happened and worshiped God... but Jesus' followers stood at a distance watching. We all know I am no bible scholar... but I just pictured these women standing in shock trying to process what had just happened... and I totally identified with them. I think I would have been thinking about what this meant for my faith and my family... wondering if any of it was really true. I know this because even now when I can feel and hear God so plainly one day, my questions and doubt (aka the enemy) creep in the next and make me wonder about the path I have chosen. If someone was reading the story of my life I think they would be screaming... JUST BELIEVE HIM ALREADY, HE'S RIGHT THERE WITH YOU AND YOU STILL QUESTION HIM!
I love God and my faith is stronger than it has ever been, His sacrificed has never seemed greater for me than it does today. But there are still days I find myself holding back... standing at the edges and watching others, trying to take in the situation, rather than diving in as a leader and blazing a trail... even at the risk of looking stupid and being condemned by people who don't believe what I believe. It's scary... but the point of His crucifixion and the resurrection is to remove the fear.
As we go into this weekend filled with time with friends and family, I want to just soak in the power of HIS grace... the power of the sacrifice he made for me. ME, the one who loves Him but waivers in faith and confidence... the one who wants to blaze a trail in his name but is terrified of saying and doing the wrong thing. He sacrificed for ME... He sacrificed for YOU... SOAK IT IN... for the very first time in my life I am choosing to bath in the glory of loving a God who has chosen to love me and sacrifice for me even at my very worst (and that's pretty bad)... I'm embarrassed to say while I have appreciated it in the past... I have NEVER soaked it in and deeply worshiped him on this day... and let me tell you... there is POWER in soaking! So this weekend I am soaking it in, and THEN ... it's time to start blazing baby:):)
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